Wedding Video

A video preserves the moments you miss as well as the ones you're in the midst of. Intrusive bright lights and cables are a thing of the past. New equipment lets videographers move about unnoticed.

As With photography, there are many styles. Straight-cut format is the predominant style; characterized by minimal or no editing, it can run up to three hours in length. Documentary style may include footage of the wedding and of you getting ready, edited into a shorter video. With in-camera format, you set a time limit for the video (usually one to two hours) and specify the events you want shot; the videographer will fill the remaining time with whatever seems appropriate.

Begin your search for a videographer early; ask friends for references, and talk to several candidates. Ask to see their work. The picture should be steady and free of repeated blurriness and muddy colors; edited videos should transfer smoothly from scene to scene. Also notice the people on tape: Do their personalities come through? If they seem uneasy, it may be attributable to an intrusive camera operator.

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Wedding Music

Ceremony Music
Choosing the music for your wedding can seem like a daunting task. To make the prospect less overwhelming, think in terms of audio "snapshots": what kind of music would you like when your guests arrive for the ceremony? What song will best capture your emotions as you walk down the aisle toward you future spouse? What music is most natural in the setting you have chosen, whether it's a garden, a country club, or beach? If you are having a difficult time deciding what style of music best suits your wedding, relax. Weddings offer abundant opportunities to use many different genres.

Reception Music
The music at the reception ushers guests from space to space and moment to moment. The standard sequence - thought you should feel free to depart from it - is a cocktail hour filled with a light, soothing style of music, often jazz or classical. Toasts call for soft background music or none at all, and dinners require only the most muted sounds. After the bride and groom's first dance, dancing customarily continues with the bride and her father taking to the floor, and crescendos with a more rollicking, festive atmosphere until the last slow ballads signal that the celebration is coming to a close.

Choosing a Music Style
Consider not just your own preferences but those of your guests as well. If you've invited several generations to your reception, choose classics that guests of many different age groups are likely to recognize and enjoy. Also think about whether your family and friends are more inclined to spend the night crowding the dance floor or just mingling and talking. If it's the latter, and understated approach to music - soft jazz instead of rock, for instance - might be in order. No matter what kind of music you select for your wedding, it should be something you will love as much in ten years as you do right now.

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The Wedding Reception

Choosing the Site
If your ceremony and reception will not be at the same location, try to choose places that are no more than a half-hour drive apart. If you are getting married in a church or synagogue, for example, you might take a look at the facilities there; some have a stately room on the ground that could meet your needs.

A time honored choice, such as a hotel, restaurant, or banquet hall, is likely to take care of almost everything. Indeed, many places with on-site restaurants prohibit outside caterers. Typically, these venues also provide bar services, linens, china and silver, waitstaff, coatrooms, and parking, leaving you to hire only the florist, musicians, and photographer. Moreover, such venues may have several rooms available, making it possible have your ceremony and reception in the same place.

There are many other options, though you will need to carefully consider the logistics. Organizing an at-home event requires considerable initiative, as does planning a reception in an historic mansion, public park, or city loft, but the atmospheric rewards can be substantial. If you want to wed outdoors, evaluate access to electricity and the availability of an alternative space (or rent a tent) in case of bad weather. Visit the location on a gray day before finalizing your decision, to make sure it looks inviting under any conditions.

Start by making calls and visiting all the places you're interested in. Wedding season (April to October, generally) cost the most; if you want to marry during this time, plan to book at least a year in advance. If a location that you love is too pricey, cut costs by serving a less expensive meal, such as a champagne breakfast or buffet, or pick a day other than Saturday.

Working With a Caterer
Try to book a caterer six months to a year in advance - more if your reception will take place during the most popular time of the year. Your first meeting with a caterer is something like a first date: You will talk about yourself, but you should also listen. You'll need to convey how you want your wedding to feel, and then ask about the caterer's style. Think about your favorite foods, cookbooks, and restaurants, and discuss them at the meeting. Be forthright about your budget from the beginning. Ask to see the caterer's portfolio; the photographs and menus will give you a good idea as to her skills and tastes. You will do best with a caterer who also knows the wedding business. Ask for references, and be sure to check them.

When it comes to planning your menu, talk to your caterer about what foods will be in season at the time of your wedding; fruits and vegetables are often most delicious when they are also least expensive. You might even build the menu around a regional specialty, such as Texas barbecue or Maine lobster. Try limiting cutting-edge cuisine to the hors d-oeuvres and keeping to more traditional wedding fare for the main meal.

Most caterers designate an event manager to keep track of the activities of the florist, musicians, and waitstaff; on the wedding day this person will be the on-site coordinator for all the vendors. It's important that you have a good feeling about the event manager. Still, you might assign someone - sibling, your maid of honor, or a relative - to work with him on the wedding day to ensure that everything is carried out according to your wishes.

Caterers have various ways of computing their charges. Most estimates are based on cost per person. A cocktail party is the least expensive, and a seated dinner tops the scale. Most caterers add on the projected cost for staff, rentals, beverages, and the cake. Though there is usually some latitude with beverages (you can offer a limited bar) and rentals (silver costs more than stainless steel), service costs are pretty well fixed. Purchasing your own wine and liquor, though, can save you hundreds of dollars. Ask your caterer for suggested wine and a shopping list based on the menu and number of guests. Inquire about overtime charges, taxes, and gratuities as well; caterers may add 15 percent ore more to cover tips and some overhead.

You will probably be asked for a deposit of up to 50 percent, with the remaining money due on the day of the event. Some caterers ask for 80 to 90 percent when you provide the final head count. The remaining charges depend on the length of the party and the liquor consumption and will be billed after the wedding. Caterers will ask for a head count about a week in advance of the party, knowing that this number may fluctuate slightly. Be as accurate as possible, though, so you and the caterer can plan accordingly.

Rentals
Whether you are planning an at-home wedding, decorating an empty space, or just looking at specials supplies that your reception site does not provide, you will probably need a rental company. While it's possible to rent everything from oyster plates to antique Persian rugs, most reception rentals are far more basic: tables, chairs, linens, glassware, flatware, and china. Often, a caterer acts as a sort of general contractor, procuring the rentals and setting up the reception space on the couple's behalf. And when it comes time to order supplies, your caterer will know just how many of the prosaic items - such as worktables and trash cans - you will need.

If your caterer handles the menu planning and food preparation only, you will have to work directly with a rental company. If you are marrying in a remote location, expect to pay a fair amount in shipping costs, especially for big pieces, such as tables and chairs. Good rental companies have a vast array of styles, colors, and sizes to choose from. If you have a limited budget, focus your resources on more affordable items, such as linens and chargers.

Some companies will request that you pay for the items you rent in advance or upon delivery. Most will deliver your items at least eight hours - and sometimes several days - before the event; typically, the rental company will deliver equipment but not set it up. Someone should be waiting at the delivery location to check the count and condition of all the goods as they arrive. Also, make sure you have an emergency contact number in case something important is missing from your order or arrives damaged. The rental company should replace the item immediately.

Tents
If you are thinking about having a tent at your wedding, ask your caterer or wedding coordinator to refer you to tent-rental companies in the area. The company should carry liability insurance and arrange for an installer to stay through the wedding to make adjustments, such as putting up or taking down sidewalls - especially if you are using multiple tents. The people you work with at the tent company should also be willing to find out which permits and notices are required to put up a tent at the site.

Besides choosing the tent style, you need to consider flooring, and added expense. Plywood is the most desirable choice - and the most expensive one. Other options include plastic, parquetry (good for a dance floor), and artificial turf. Heaters and air conditioners can make a tent as warm or as cool as any indoor facility. A tent company can also evaluate the adequacy of the bathrooms in your house or at the site so you can determine whether you'll need to rent extra facilities.

Planning the Party
Every wedding reception is as individual as the newlywed couple, though most follow a traditional timetable. If you're working with a wedding coordinator, she will help you map out every detail of the event. If you are planning the reception yourself, make your timetable about a week before the wedding. Sit down with your catering manager or maitre d' and, if possible, the bandleader, and go over the timing of everything. Type up your plan, including contact numbers, and given each vendor and member of the wedding party a copy.

So what is the sequence of events? Following are guidelines for the most formal party, which usually lasts about five hours. A buffet, breakfast, lunch, tea, or cocktail reception is likely to be shorter and less structured.

Sequence of Events
The receiving line can be assembled either at the close of the ceremony or at the start of the reception. Many couples forgo this practice altogether, especially if the guest list is small and they will get to speak to everyone personally at dinner.

By the time a receiving line is concluded, the cocktail hour (really, anywhere from forty-five to ninety minutes) is in full swing. Cocktails are generally served in a separate room so that when the doors are thrown open to the dining room the beautifully set tables make a real impact. Some couples are announced upon their entrance. This responsibility can be handled by the bandleader or by the bride's father.

Following their grand entrance, the newlyweds might go straight to the dance floor for the first dance (some couples wait until after the first course). Next comes the customary sequence of dances: the father of the bride cuts in and dances with his daughter while the groom dances with his mother; the bride dances with the best man and the groom with the maid or matron of honor. Finally, the guests join in for a little dancing before the meal.

After everyone takes their seats for the first course, the officiant, a parent, or a close friend may say a blessing before the meal. At some receptions there is dancing between courses; at others the meal progresses uninterrupted. It may depend on the venue: If the dance floor is in another room, it makes sense to eat first and dance later.

Toasts can take place in succession or individually at the start of each course. Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the best man; the bride and groom often say a few words. Other guests may want to speak as well; just make sure everyone knows beforehand when his or her turn will be.

The cake cutting should take place with the guests still seated, and then everyone can move to the dance floor. The bouquet toss, if you have one, comes approximately thirty minutes before the end of the reception.

While the guests dance, the newlywed couple takes their leave to change into their going-away clothes. Or they can sty in their wedding regalia until friends and family give them a joyous send-off.

Seating Your Guests
Telling a guest where to sit during the reception is more a favor than a command. A seating plan makes people comfortable, encourages conversation, and honors specials guests. Unlike seating at the ceremony, where the bride's family and friends are separated from the groom's, the table arrangements at the reception should reflect your desire that the two groups come together in their shared affection for you.

Seating Etiquette

• Seat guests with similar experiences and interest together so you know they'll have things to discuss.
• For a seated dinner or buffet, you have two options: Assign seats at the table, or just assign guests to particular tables and let them sit where they like.
• Ask parents to help with seating arrangements for their friends and relatives.
• Don't seat all the single people together; instead, intersperse singles with couples
• Seat the youngest children with their parents at mealtime. Older children can be seated together at a separate kids' table. Teenagers will certainly prefer to have a table of their own.
• Take into account the special needs of your guests, such as elderly people with trouble seeing or hearing. Seat them in well-lit areas, away from the band or speakers.
• If possible, have an even number of guests at each table, since people tend to pair off in conversation.

Commuinicating Table Assignments
To help your guests find their seats, set out alphabetized seating cards in a prominent location at least an hour before the reception. Or for a small number of guests, you can have a waiter circulate during cocktail hour, handing guests their seating cards. A hand-lettered seating chart on display at the entrance to the reception area is a lovely extra touch. If you have a lot of guests, place several copies of the chart in different areas of the room to prevent a bottleneck at the entry. It is also a smart idea to split the room in half, even tables on one side, clearly identified, odd on the other. This way, the waitstaff can direct guests swiftly to their seats. Typically, the newlyweds' table is either number one or unnumbered. A more extravagant centerpiece, and perhaps a display of the bridesmaids' bouquets, will help distinguish it.

At the Table
There are several steps you can take to foster good communication and make the meal fun for your guests. Start by considering the shape of the table itself. Round tables are great for encouraging conversation; long rectangular tables make a striking visual statement and can evoke a family-style feel. Centerpieces should be low enough or high enough to allow guests to see and talk to one another across the tables. Tented place cards that display guests' names on both sides can help tablemates make one another's acquaintance.

Seating Arrangements
All of the illustrations shown here are only guidelines of how tables can be arranged; there are many variations that will work just as well, depending on the guest list and the reception site.

Wedding Party Table
This table should be centrally located. The traditional table for the wedding party is rectangular, with seating on one side only, facing out; often this table is raised on a dais. However, many couples prefer a round table, which is less formal. In either case, the bride and groom should face the room.

Parents' Table
At small weddings, both sets of parents may sit together along with honored guests, like the officiant and his spouse. At larger events, each set of parent may host their own tables populated with their close family and friends. In that case, the officiant and his spouse might sit with the family hosting the wedding.

Family Table
This seating arrangement allows the closest relative and friends of the newlyweds to join them at one table. The wedding party is represented with the best man to the right of the bride and the maid of honor to the groom's left. Traditionally, the male-female pattern continues around the table. Grandparents, siblings, the officiant, and other honored guests are seated as shown.

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The Perfect Pair of Wedding Shoes

From the moment you step onto the aisle until your final dip on the dance floor, you'll ask a lot of your wedding shoes beyond looking beautiful. Thought you've bought dozens (or is it hundreds?) of shoes before, picking a pair for this event requires some special considerations: the style and length of your gown, how tall you'd like to appear beside the groom, and of course, comfort. "A lot of women choose to buy a half size bigger because they will wear them for so many hours," says Nicole Sacco, accessories manager for Kleinfeld Bridal in New York City. As you try on different styles and sizes, walk around in them a little longer than usual - or even dance a step or two - in the store to be sure they feel fine.

Bridal salons have chic selections, though you may find your shoes anywhere. While white satin pumps are the most classic, understated colors such as rose and soft gold are elegant even with a traditional dress; adornments like rhinestones and pearls provide a little sparkle. It's best to finalize your footwear before you first dress fitting, about eight weeks before the wedding. That way, the seamstress can adjust your gown accordingly, and you'll have time to break them in before their big debut.

Wearing Heels?
You might want to bring along a backup pair of comfortable flats for dancing well into the night.

Don't shy away from bold embellishments; just be sure that any beads, brooches, or buckles won't catch on the hem of your dress.

Dressy shoes come in all heights and shapes. Try to get comfortable in very high heels before choosing them for your walk down the aisle; medium heels may give legs the same lovely line but with a gentler lift. Flats are just as graceful and feminine, especially beneath full skirted gowns; they also make for more flattering proportions in photographs when the bride is as tall as the groom.

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Wedding Hair and Makeup

Choosing Your Hairstyle

Don't date yourself with a trendy hairstyle on your wedding day. Classic upswept styles - chignons, French twists, and ponytails - transcend decades. In general, it's wise to wear your hair in a way that isn't too far removed from your usual style. If you normally wear bangs or part your hair on a particular side, for instance, incorporate that look into your do. Schedule an appointment with your hairdresser at least two months before the wedding - that way, you'll have enough time to work through any problems. Bring your veil, headpiece, and earring to the appointment as well as a photo of your gown and magazine pictures of styles you like. If you want to wear fresh flowers in your hair on your wedding day, talk to your stylist about how to coordinate this with your florist.

Wedding-Day Makeup
A few months prior to your wedding, start trying different makeup looks. Whether you hire a professional or do it yourself, aim for a clean, polished appearance. Don't pile on makeup that's too heavy; you don't want to look back at photos and not recognize yourself. If you hire a makeup artist, plan a trial session or tow. Take a picture to see how you'll look in photos, and note how the makeup holds up for the next day.

Facials
A facial can help you maintain a radiant complexion - and a sense of calm. If you plan to have facials as an ongoing part of your preparations, start treatments with a license esthetician at least six months before the wedding. You will also want plenty of time to evaluate how your skin reacts to the treatment, what the recovery time is, if any, and how long the effects last. This will help you determine how often to have a facial (once every month or so is usually fine) and how soon before your wedding to have a final one. Plan on leaving at least a week between the last facial and the wedding.

Manicures and Pedicures
You'll be showing off your rings, so you'll want your hands and nails to look great. Begin a manicure (and pedicure) regimen several months before the wedding, making weekly or biweekly visits to a nail salon. A day or two before the wedding, enjoy a leisurely final appointment. Pale, sheer shades of pink or cream look appropriate on most brides. Bright pinks and reds tend to stand out too much in photographs.

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Wedding Favors

Giving a favor is a joyful gesture, expressive of your gratitude and happiness for your guests' presence on this special occasion. The best wedding favors are exercises in elegant simplicity, beautiful things that are not too taxing to plan, make, or fit into the budget. They are among the wedding's most appealing elements and one of the easiest to personalize. Although influenced by tradition, favors are not beholden to it. In fact, almost anything can be a favor, as long as it is pleasing, portable, and available in multiples.

What To Give
If you have chosen a motif for your wedding, you can carry it through to your favors as well. You might give seashell-shaped chocolates for a beachside wedding or small bottles of maple syrup if you get married in New England. For a daisy theme, you could pass out daisy-seed packets to your guests. Your favors can also reflect your wedding color. Bright-yellow lemon drops or jelly beans in a single color look festive in simple clear boxes or bags.

Wedding favors can also be symbolic. Consider the meanings of various items when looking for ideas. For example, the piquant contrast of a dragee - a bitter almond sugar coating - has been said to represent an important part of the wedding vow: for better or for worse. Rosemary is another favorite ingredient to use in favors because of its fitting history. Shakespeare once wrote, "There's rosemary, that's for remembrance; pray you, love, remember." Your guests will recall your wedding day fondly whenever they use little jars of sea salt flavored with the fragrant herb and sealed with a sticker bearing your monogram and the wedding date, or small bottles of rosemary-infused olive oil.

Instead of tangible favors, some couples chose to make donation in honor of their guests to a favorite charity. An elegantly printed card or scroll can convey your gift to your guests.

Children's Favors
Kids will love their own favors selected with their interests in mind: At each child's seat, for example, leave a small pouch filled with paper dominoes or playing cards, fancy paper to doodle on, and colored pencils to keep them entertained while the grown-ups dance. If you've invited only a few children, you can personalize canvas tote bags to hold their goodies by cutting out felt letters and hand-sewing them to the bags.

Perfect Packaging
Favors that include candy or other perishables should be prepared shortly before your wedding so they stay fresh, but all other favors can be assembled and wrapped well in advance. If you use an assembly-line approach (and enlist the help of your bridesmaids), favors are easy to prepare in large quantities.

Bags are a great way to package small favors, and they provide a convenient way for guests to carry their goods home. Little bags are available at craft stores in translucent glassine and in just about any color you can imagine. Fill them both with candy or cookies, fold the tops over, and punch two holes in the cuffs. Then thread ribbon through from the back and tie in bows in the front. When tied with a decorative ribbon, store bough burlap bags make handsome pouches for small apples or pears. Handmade bags of wool, felt, or velvet will take a bit more time and effort on your part but can be made in advance and are bound to be reused.

Plain white paper boxes can be done up in countless different ways. Wrap them with colorful paper, tie them with ribbon, or seal them with personalized stickers.

Functional Favors
With a little creativity, your favors and seating cards can work as one. Try this idea: Place small favors, such as tiny soaps or hard candies, in boxes, and wrap them in decorative papers. Print guests' names and table assignments onto white adhesive-backed paper, cut out, and affix to the top of each box. Arrange the favors on a table in alphabetical order, so that guests can easily find their names, along with their charming little gift.

As an alternative, you can incorporate the favors into your table settings. A diminutive favor in a pretty box or bag can greet guests as they sit down to dinner. Place the packages on or just above the plates. If you have a lot of elements in your place settings, attach name tags (printed on a computer or created by your calligrapher) to the favors, and you won't need place cards.

Favor Displays
Attractively grouped favors - such as small potted herbs or cookies in white boxes - make clever and economical centerpieces. Or you can arrange favors on a table of their own. The ideal location for such display is by the door so that guests will see the favors as they leave. However you choose to display them, be sure to add a sign reminding guests to take one. For do-it-yourself favors that encourage mingling, place glassine bags around a table filled with large containers of candy in coordinating colors and invite guests to fill their own.

Or you can forgo favor display altogether and have a bridesmaid or other helper distribute the favors after the meal. This is a great job for children and works best for weddings with a small number of guests.

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